Friday December 15, 2017

How to Have Sex: Basic Principles That Gets You Laid

Ok, let's face it. If you are a man, it is most certainly not very easy to get laid. Most women can just walk into a bar, hone in on their prey and within minutes she will have him begging to be her boy toy- it happens all the time. However, unless you have two very lovely breasts or your name begins with Channing and finishes with Tatum, then getting laid is going to require some serious effort. Women, the reason the world goes round, want to be flattered, charmed and pampered. It's not always fair, but as men one of the very first lessons you learn in life is to suck it the hell up. In fact it doesn't even make sense to whine about it, or you definitely will not get laid. It's far better to examine why you aren't getting laid, then put a plan in place to get laid more often and execute it.
Young Guy and Girl Laying in Bed after a one night stand

So you are tired of jerking off and are wondering how you can get laid, huh?  These 20 tips should help you score a good tumble in the hay:

1) WATCH YOUR WORDS

So, there you are in the club chugging down shots of Jager, with each one making you feel exponentially sexier than you were before…then you finally decide to approach the hot chick you have been leering at all night. You put your sexy game face on as you approach and reading your arsenal of pick up lies that could get you the entire Victoria Secret catwalk. It then comes as no surprise that the object of your primal and carnal desires is flirt back with you. Then after a few minutes when you are ready to tie it off and take her home, she starts backing off. five minutes later she ends the conversation and leaves you there with a useless boner and blubber like a moron.
If this happened, then you simply talked too much. Alcohol removes our inhibitions and loosens the tongue, be careful it doesn’t loosen yours too much. Conversation is good just don’t get too deep into frivolities. Its best to pull her out on the dance floor and shut up sometimes.

2) IGNORE HER

Yes, this reverse psychology shit actually works! Maybe you are putting yourself out there a little bit too much. After all, when you think about it these days women actually like making the first move. Therefore, instead up walking up to the woman you want and chatting away like the biggest moron since the dawn of time, make your eyes meet, give a drop dead gorgeous smile, then turn away and go back to what you were doing. Let her wonder for a while, why you aren’t approaching her when she is definitely interested. When you are ready to actually approach her, you will have far less work to do.

3) BE YOURSELF, JUST BETTER

This one is pretty simply….Women can smell fakery and bullshit from a mile away, and no woman wants to sleep with a man who stinks of it. No matter how dorky and weird you think you are, be you. On account of all the truth and honesty- not too much- they might actually like you a lot in return and a one night stand could become a regular booty call.

4) APPEAR COOL, CALM AND COLLECTED

Back when I was in college the idiots I had for friends used to always chant, “Do not rock out with your cock out!” It was just a very moronic way of saying be cool. Do not be desperate. Basically, you want to ensure you get the balance right. You need to be able to appear like you are not overly interested in sex, while giving off the vibe that you would definitely be open to the opportunity.

5) PRETEND TO BE INTERESTED IN WHAT SHE IS SAYING

You don’t need to actually listen, but you need to appear to. Women love a man who is a good ‘listener’, even more so if they ask a few follow-up questions. You are simply showing her that out of everybody else there at the moment you have an invested interested in the words coming out of her mouth. Even if your mind strays to what kind of underwear she has on underneath that really short dress, catch a bit of what she is saying and ask a question about it. She will feel flattered but really this is just the decent way of saying that you want to take her home and do very carnal things to her body.

6) BE A BIT OF A DICK

The simply truth is, nice guys do finish last. At the same time you don’t want to be a complete doucheface, or she might slap you across the face and wake away. Find that middle ground, that place where you challenge her without insulting her- women love a good challenge.

7) DON’T BE A CHEAP ASS

We aren’t saying you must spend your rent money, so if you don’t have the dime to spare maybe staying home with your oil, five fingers and good old adult entertainment on replay is the best bet. Women love it when a guy buys her a drink- this is a sort of rite of passage actually. There are of course the chosen few female gems who will offer to buy you a drink, keep her around if she does she could be wife material, but decline nonetheless. Pay the bill and pay for her cab when its time for her to go.

8) SMELL LIKE A DANDY

Women loooooove fragrances. Nothing too brutish; subtle enough to be sexy but noticeable and not too strong for her feel like she is drowning in it. it must be the kind of scent that makes her want to rub her nose against your neck to inhale it all in like her perfect line of cocaine. Not every man can be the sexiest man for the night, but a captivating scent will go a long way.

9) BECOME IRRESISTIBLE TO HER

Meeting a woman is one thing, making her want you is quite another. You have to build her desire to get her into bed with you, because even if a woman likes you and finds you charming it doesn’t automatically mean she wants to fuck you all night. You have to first turn her on without even touching her; tease her until she naturally melts in your arms. It is not that hard to do- women are just as horny, if not hornier, than men. they are just better at hiding it.

10) USE TECHNOLOGY TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

In such a technologically driven world as this, with a vast selection of online dating sites, it is no surprise many go that route. It is far easier to talk to someone from behind a computer screen, than face to face- especially if you are a bit socially awkward- and women are far more uninhibited in online chats. You have a better chance of getting her underwear off in person, if you have already broached that topic online. Never ask her for sex directly, flirt and tease it out of her. Be subtle and even coy if you have to be, build her anticipation and desire. That way by the time she actually meets you she is ready to cut dinner short and do straight to ripping your clothes off.

11) JUST DONT TALK ABOUT YOUR EX

For the love of cupid or whatever Greek Goddess of desire, just don’t talk about your ex. Unless she asks she really doesn’t give a shit, and the last thing she wants to know is that she is sleeping with some guy who is still hung up on her ex. In moments like these your ex should be dead and gone to hell, if you must mention your her, then for want of a better title say ‘an acquaintance” or ‘a friend’. And do not go getting all torn up over pass experiences or like Pink said, “it’s you and your hand tonight”.

12) ROMANCE HER

If you have already done the meet and greet, then its time for romance. It is not that you want her to fall in love with you, but a woman is more likely to give it up if you make her feel like she is more than just a warm tight space to shove your dick. A little message checking in or a tiny flowers and/or some lunch will go a long way.

13) DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR LIFE

Doesn’t matter if you just lost your retirement fund in a bad investment, have the worse family and friends, had all your luck stolen by a leprechaun or you hate the music playing in the bar. She doesn’t really care, she isn’t there to be your shrink she wants to have a good time. so, forget all the crappy things about life as you know it and work on getting into her underwear for the night. Worry about all the other crap tomorrow.

14) LAUGH AT YOURSELF WITH HER

Some wise old somebody once said that if you make a woman laugh you are half way to winning her heart- in this case you are well on your way to getting laid. Women love men with a sense of humor and showing her you can laugh at yourself is an added plus. No matter how cool and perfect you are, ditch the narcissism or you will be masturbating to your own damn reflection. Forget your self–righteousness for a while and make her feel comfy with you by showing her that you don’t always take life so seriously.

15) DATE WITHIN YOUR OWN LEAGUE

We all like to think we can have just about anybody we want, and if that were true then there would be little need for this article. When it comes to getting laid, don’t believe anyone who tells you it is not about looks. It is most definitely all about how you look- we live in a superficial world and you better not kid yourself about that. Besides, anybody who is willing to drop their underwear for you in less than 30 minutes of knowing you, really does not give a rats rear end about your big heart and very kind and loving ways. That being said, if you know you are a 7 at best, then for the purposes of getting laid, you stand a better chance if your target is about the same or even registers less. Aim for a 10 and you likely will be going home to start and finish the job all buy your lonesome.

16) GO OUT WITH PEOPLE THAT COMPLEMENT YOU

If you are socially awkward, you might want to hang out with people who can offset that and make you more confident in public. No matter how hot you are if you get the jitters when approaching a girl, then it is possibly getting laid will simply be a myth or fantasy for you. Always hang out with someone who is more comfortable in social situations than you are, they will attract the crowd and you can wow your chosen girl with ease- a perfect symbiotic relationship.

17) MASTER YOUR BODY LANGUAGE

You can have the look, the dress and the talk, but if you do not have the confidence then you are out of luck. Body language is a hell of a thing and no matter what words come out of your mouth, if you don’t have command and believe you re going to get laid then it ain’t never gonna happen! Own those words and wow her with your subtle yet very present confidence and she will be just as eager to get in the sack with you to find out if you can strum her strings the right way.

18) COMPLIMENT HER (BUT DON’T BE CHEESY)

Women already now they look good before they step out, and telling her that will earn you no more than a smile- chances are she is used to men trying to woo her with what she already knows she has. What most men fail to recognize though, is just how much effort and pride women take in themselves. A man who notices the small things is a man bound to get laid. compliment the nail polish she put on or how nice her fingers are, tell her how the soft tendrils of her hair make her neck seem more elegant. Compliment the lipstick she is wearing and how it brings out her eyes- anything but the clothes she is wearing and the legs she has on displace will get you far. It shows a woman that you are taking notice of more than just the obvious.

19) HOW ABOUT WE BE FRIENDS

This is a treacherous slope, because a girl puts you in the friends’ zone there is little to no chance of getting out of it- you will likely stay there until death or drama do you part. Nevertheless, if you can spin it and make yourself appealing enough to fill the ‘friends with benefits’ position most women keep available, then you will have the best of both worlds.

20) IF ALL ELSE FAILS…

Keep practicing and never give up. Keep going to bars talking to women, at least you’ll improve your game. Take some seductions courses if you need to. In the meantime, buy yourself some hooker ass and subscribe to your favorite porn website. There’s no shame in paying for life’s necessities, regardless of what society thinks.

Getting laid is more of an art of seduction than it is a sexual science, you have to know how to play the age old game or wooing another, and you have to be creative, patient and elegant in doing so.

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